13 things I might do


 Vegetarian Magazine’s 13 Things only Vegetarians do post

 came out today. 

I am actually a pescatarian but I do get the Vegetarian newsletter regularly as I mostly eat vegetarian – fish in restaurants where the only offer is mushroom goulash – or tomato pasta for vegetarians – or even – as a certain Michelin starred place offered me once, roasted vegetables!

I did think that this particular list was great fun and so I’m reproducing it for you with a few comments of my own added.

  1. Google a restaurant’s menu the moment someone suggests dining there.
    Because c**** veggie options still aren’t that unusual. See above comments.
  2. Dry retch when you walk past a butcher’s shop and the smell hits you.
    Do meat eaters seriously think that smells good..?! oh and what about when you have meat eaters for a meal and they won’t eat veggie? Do you too wear gloves and use long forks to touch the meat? And try not to smell at all? And ask someone else to cook the meat?
  3. Get annoyed when other people tuck into the special diet stuff at a buffet.
    Eat one more veggie samosa and I’ll eat you! If meat eaters think vegetarian offerings are so much better than their own – why aren’t they vegetarian?
  4. Buy hemp oil.
    This fish-free source of omegas is a secret ingredient only seasoned veggies seem to know about. Good stuff this – tastes OK too.
  5. Die a little inside when a mate uses Parmesan in your food.
    “But it’s not veggie!” you sob quietly…true but have you ever been offered an alternative? I always thought Pecorino was a vegetarian alternative and now I find it isn’t! It uses lamb rennet… oh well, back to the search for vegetarian parmesan type cheese which is OK but not as good…
  6. Instantly fall in love with other veggies you meet at parties.
    And you have a new temporary bestie until the recipe sharing conversation dries up.   And it can dry up quite quickly or not as the case may be – what about ‘besties’ on the internet? And blog?
  7. Have 100% more patience for dumb questions.
    “What about wafer-thin ham? Can you eat that?” or as I was once told – Yes chicken is really so good for you! – or when a catering company at a conference dinner offered a plate of fruit – or when offered a combination of broccoli and potatoes for the 3rd time!
  8. Have a special place in your heart for Marks & Spencer.
    Two words: Veggie Percy. Never tried it!
  9. Enjoy a difficult relationship with pans that have been used to cook meat.
    Do you leave it for the meat eater to clean, or do you scrub it yourself so you know it’s clear of all animal? Leave it for the meat eater I say!
  10. Find the smell of boiling cabbage oddly intoxicating.
    Never something to actually vocalise though. No!!! I don’t like cabbage.. only when it is red and cooked with apples and red wine vinegar and some sugar and raisins and slow cooked for hours….
  11. Have a fake surprised-yet-interested face.
    For when meat eaters tell you how much vegetarian food they eat. Ie all the vegetarian offerings at the buffet!
  12. Know more than a dozen ways to use a butternut squash.
    This humble veg is basically our best friend. I am sure I could equal that if I tried… anyone want to try and list them?
  13. Not eat fish.
    Not even a little bit.  And this is where I fail dramatically – but I do have lots of health reasons…

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